Looking In The Mirror
an honest conversation
I feel like I’ve been going through some growing pains recently. I set a goal for myself this year of taking inventory of my life and giving it an honest look. Whether that was my finances, friendships, relationships, behavior, expectations, etc. I took the time to really look at myself and asked what is or isn’t serving me. This may seem like nothing, but when you’re as afraid of letting things go or the idea of possibly being wrong as I am - this can be terrifying.
Next week is my birthday and with it being a milestone one, I’m using it as a closing chapter to my old self and stepping into a new beginning. I want to take the lessons I’ve learned, mistakes I’ve made and chances I took into something positive that I can say “I did the best I could with what I had and where I was.” No one ever asked me to be perfect, and taking myself out of the pressure cooker of life and just stepping back to look at the full picture has been so helpful.
Looking back at the last 29 years, these are some of the best lessons I’ve learned:
When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
If you don’t love it, don’t buy it.
Pray about everything.
Trust your gut, you know what’s right for you.
It’s okay to start over, tomorrow’s a new day.
Always take a chance on yourself, you have the ability to create the life of your dreams.
You’re not asking too much, you’re just asking the wrong person.
What’s meant for you will happen at the right time.
You betray yourself when you dim your light to let others shine.
I’ve always believed in never settling and that if you truly want something then don’t give up on it. However, sometimes we put our expectations and the dreams we have for our life into the wrong person’s hands. I can honestly say this is what has caused me the most hurt, confusion and pain in my life. No one can determine my value but myself, and by taking my power back I took back control of my life.
When we know better we do better, and learning to accept yourself/others/situations/circumstances as they are is the most freeing experience. If it’s not meant for me, then I don’t want it. I let the Universe & God take it away and know that something better is coming.
My little toolbox:
working with crystals - rose quarts, citrine, fluorite, obsidian, citrine, clear quartz
Comfort Playlist - *repeat songs “Something Good Coming” & “It’ll All Work Out” by Tom Petty
Creating a vision board on Pinterest
Reading works by Don Miguel Ruiz, Mary Oliver, Walt Whitman, and Paulo Coelho
Acupuncture & Reiki
Daily walks and movement
Going to mass
Getting out in nature, going home and being with family
Writing, painting and dancing
Thanks for reading.
Sincerely,
Kierstin M. Vermeulen